8/17/2010 10:51:35 AM The Vancouver 2010 Olympics are now in our rear-view mirror and for many of us, still very fresh in our minds. I had the privilege of seeing up close some of the events and witness first hand the thrill of victory and the disappointment of defeat. One indispensable attribute that an Olympic athlete needs to compete is confidence. It is a quality not just for survival but also essential to thrive in competition. It helps the athletes overcome adversity, come back after injury and step up when the moment of giving it your all is required.
In many ways, the dedication to hard work and the confidence of a top level athlete is a picture of what it takes to be a first rate Transitional Leader or Coach who is called upon to step up in a moment of high expectation and opportunity. For us who lead in the congregations, it is not enough to simply "do" our work, we must "be" confident in our work!
Last month I introduced this topic of leadership confidence which I add to this month. This month I want to look at some of the common confidence shakers and contrast those with some confidence boosters.
Confidence Shakers
1. Nay Sayers. It's one thing to have people (coaches, parents, friends, fans) who offer helpful feedback, have your best interest at heart and help to sharpen your life. It's quite another to have a few too many nay-sayers, negative people, critics, pessimists who are always saying “that’s impossible” or "that's a bad idea". If you are surrounded by too many nay-sayers and critical people, your confidence will be eroded by the flood negativity.
2. A Poor Self-Concept. When the predominant feeling you have about yourself is “inadequacy” and “inferiority”, confidence drops and discouragement grows. If your default setting as a leader under pressure or in your moments of reflection is “I’m not doing a lot of good around here” or “I don’t think I can do this” confidence will sag and fade.
3. Inner criticism. All of us have some “head noise” or "self-sabotaging conversations" that go on in our heads. It's common to have thoughts that do not represent who we are or what God is up to in our lives. If we give too much power to this “noise”, confidence will sink.
4. Anxiety and fear. Anxiety and fear is a confidence killer. Look no further than Joshua who heard God say several times “be strong and courageous” when he took on his new transitional leadership assignment. If anxiety and fear dominate, leadership confidence will fade and along with it, the fruit and rewards that could otherwise be yours.
Confidence Boosters
A strategy to boost and grow your leadership confidence off-set the downward pull of confidence shakers. Here are a few ideas to boost your confidence.
1. Establish your worth based on God's love not your performance.
When athletes don't reach the podium, what gets them through the disappointment and back to training? A belief that their identity is not equal to their performance. They have parents and coaches who love them whether they win or lose and with that, confidence is nurtured and grows.
What will carry us along as Transitional Leaders and Coaches who must journey through the ups and downs of ministry? A trusting relationship with our Heavenly Father where we hear him say “I love you because you’re my child, not because you are turning the world upside down with your leadership contribution!"
2. Learn to keep the BIG VIEW in mind
The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective (Al Neuharth). A gift you can open that increases confidence is adopting a different perspective.
David chooses a different perspective when faced with a mountain of opposition and trouble. The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident (Psalm 27). Choose you this day your view!
3. Develop friendships with confident and encouraging people
When we have too many "Lucy's" in our lives, we'll develop the Charlie Brown syndrome. "You, Charlie Brown, are a foul ball in the line drive of life! You’re in the shadow of your own goal posts! You are a miscue! You are three putts on the 18th green! You are a missed free throw, a shanked nine iron, and a called third strike! Do you understand? Have I made myself clear?”
Encouragement is a major contributor to confidence. When you have friends and family you enjoy being with and who breathe life into your soul, they help replenish the depletion of energy and life you experience as you give yourself to others.
He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm (Prov. 13:20).
4. Focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses
Peter Drucker tells leaders, “Identify your greatest single strength, and maximize it.”
When David killed Goliath, knowing his strengths and how God gave him strength in the past gave him confidence in battle. “The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." Saul said to David, "Go, and the LORD be with you" (1 Samuel 17:37).
When you know your strengths and rely on the strengths of others in your weak areas, you increase your confidence to be who you are and do what you’ve been called to do.
5. Quit playing the comparison game
Comparison is normal in sports and expected but at the end of the day, all you can really do is your best with what you've been given (talent, coaching, equipment, genetic make up). In leadership, there are certain qualities we measure ourselves against, but the way to develop confidence is to be the best "you" you can. You do that by measuring your growth and improvement on God's expectations for you and what you are capable of becoming.
Confidence in ministry comes when we believe that God has called us to the work we are engaged in and has a unique job for us to do that no one else can do quite like us! Our job is to be clear about that and with confidence get on with “that” job and stop looking around at what others are doing better or differently!
May your leadership confidence grow and develop as you minimize confidence shakers and maximize confidence boosters.
Take Action:
Take some time this week to reflect on the following questions as you seek to grow your leadership confidence:
1. How does your leadership confidence tend to be shaken?
2. If Jesus were speaking to you right now, what would he say to you as his follower and as a leader?
3. List the people in your life who build up your confidence. Who would you like to add to that list? Now go spend time with them.
4. Who will you inspire this week to be the person they are capable of being? When will you speak to them?
